He can butcher me with his meat cleaver any day!
I’m a bit of a Konami fan, I’d been waiting for a while now to find the right post to use this picture… and I think I’ve found the breaking news! It was almost a year ago that I read a Destructiod blurb on Silent Hill being based off of Kindergarten Cop– a Schwarzenegger classic that no modern day American should live a life without seeing– but it never dawned on me that I should actually write about how this discovery changed my freaking life! I’m the person that horror movies are made for, because everything has legitimate potential to scare the shit out of me.
I mean it though. I’ve been known to stay in one spot during a video game because I know that a blind nurse is going to be around the corner if I move into that next room… and I just don’t want to hear the static! Resident Evil and Silent Hill have both made me cry… as an adult. When I first purchased Revelations I bawled for the entire first night to my boyfriend… The first level on Queen Zenobia scared me so much that I wanted to return the game to Best Buy. I couldn’t because I’d opened it. Within a few days I snapped out of my mortified state and it is currently my favorite 3DS game, but that’s not the point. I played the whole thing with no sound and no 3D as a compromise, and I wouldn’t do it again alone if you paid me. (Although it may make a good review to be taped while playing these games in dark rooms…you know what never mind!)
But, after seeing Kindergarten Cop so many times, and then replaying the original Silent Hill, I found serious humor. True, no game is as scary in 90’s graphics as it once was when we were kids (I had lucid dreams of pixelated zombies walking after me…) However, Silent Hill for me, still retained much of it’s glory because I’d avoided it out of fear of rehashing old scares. Not any more. I had to break out this bad boy after seeing the comparison photos! Life has been a little bit brighter since then. What makes the fact that Japan looked to a campy comedy to model their creepy town after so enlightening? Perhaps the realizations that:
- “Talent creates and genius steals.” -David Bowie (I always look for reasons to say Bowie is right.)
- There really is humor in [almost] every situation… even being stuck in a Hell Realm.
- Aziz Ansari’s doughnut shop porn joke will now never leave my head.
It’s still scary, horror survival is always scary. It’s never fun to be in a haunted playground of ghouls without any control of when or where they’ll appear. And well, no one wants to start out a monster game without a weapon…