H Jon Benjamin, Be Still My Heart…

Imagine if I had to pick my favorite voice actor in the whole world. Would you guess that it is probably H. Jon Benjamin? I’ve always maintained that I love a funny man, and as far as funny men go Jon takes the cake. Bob’s Burgers and Lucy the Daughter of the Devil are just a warm up course for which characters are really ‘themselves’ thanks to Benjamin lending his voice and sense of humor.  Note that my feelings go beyond marathons of Home Movies and yes, Dr. Katz. To my delight Jon Benjamin is everywhere, and perhaps I should be thanking his van for that. (If you didn’t get that reference you’re reading the wrong post. Try one of my rants about Microsoft gaming handhelds.)

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Sorry Jon, was that too far?

Archer for many reasons, besides the fact that it’s the funniest show on TV today, is  my favorite show! (If you guessed that right you get +10 points!) It’s a real toss up between him and  Pat Warburton granting that you want to really get gritty, but Benjamin pushes me over the edge of lust straight into obsession. Warbuton, gets a +5 for being Brock “Fucking” Samson! You may also know Warburton’s voice from rolls like The Tick, and that wheelchair dude from FG (yeah, I did that on purpose. I’m petty like that). Call me crazy, but he loses points for being on FG, not gains. Regardless of inter-channel cartoon politics and allegiances, it’s no secret that Warburton and Benjamin alike bring true ‘character’ to these characters.  Without their talents, Samson and Archer and all the other characters wouldn’t be nearly as comical or iconic as they are.  Assuming you don’t think Benjamin voices any cartoon icons, let me suggest you take a stroll down Coach Micgurik Lane.  Assuming you still disagree, let me suggest you take a long stroll off of a short pier. (No, I don’t really want you to do that!– Also, from this juncture on all previous points will no longer count for anything. whoops.)

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Although I favor the monotonous dry tone of Benjamin slightly more than the raspy rage that is Warburton’s… I’d never kick either of them out of bed so long as they have sweet nothing to whisper in my ear.

 What makes these men so special? What makes them matter so much to me? If you haven’t pieced it together yet Brendon Small is a common denominator within my interests. I don’t give the actors credit for writing, I give them credit as incredible vessels! I’ll dole out a love letter to Mr. Small one of these days, his greatness is far too incredible. As an admirer and a huge fan of his work I prefer to really do research and compose something beautiful in his honor.  Benjamin, however, has proven to be an entertaining voice actor on all the right shows in my opinion… not just Small’s.

You may be reading this. You may be wasting your time. You may be asking yourself, “How could a person be so pathetic? How could a person grow such an attachment to a cartoon character and voice actor as the author of this piece has? It’s not like voice actors have the same talent as David Bowie or Jack Nicholson!“. To those of you have have made it this far and are still hating I say simply, fuck off. (Btw, I love both of Bowie and Jack almost as much as I love breathing!) The people who can compare a voice actor to a rock star tend to also believe Kirk Cameron makes an excellent case for teaching creationism in public schools… let’s leave it at that.

To clarify my obsession, cartoons are the bread and butter of my childhood and I embrace them as an adult. I am stoked, for lack of a better word. Stoked that as I grow up the talented people from my generation also grow and create shows that cater to my inner child and my adult sense of humor, simultaneously! I feel about cartoons a lot like I’d imagine an audiophile feels about music. There’s so much crap out there that when you wade your way to something great you cherish it and you want to tell the whole world (or just the internet). Without actors like Benjamin, late night cartoons just wouldn’t be right… In fact, for me it’d probably all be South Park, because Family Guy sucks.

@};–,-

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